Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

FOURTHLY The celebration of bombs does me no good. The joy experienced in explosions is unfathomable and extremely beyond me. If I can avoid bursting bombs and real rockets exploding overhead, I’d be happy – though just as happy to … Continue reading →

HIS REQUIRING ESTIMATES Matt’s dildo requirements are too specific for anyone to help him in the shopping. He knows what he wants even if he has trouble describing it. “Sometimes, I wish I had the telepathy, or, you know, some … Continue reading →

BARRY SAYS Barry tells me his time is up. Barry tells me there is little to fear. Barry tells me it’s the Day of Reckoning, he reckons and that things will be different. Barry says we ought to find God. … Continue reading →

THE INEVITABLE If you focus on the cracked violet paint on the nails on the hand holding on to your dear life it might postpone the inevitable. Do not look over at her lacy red bra jiggling rhythmically so close … Continue reading →

MISUNDERSTOOD The novels you write are not the novels anyone cares to read which might be your intent as your art may be too sophisticated for the huddled masses yearning to be free of inconvenience. Your work is for better … Continue reading →

RHYMES WITH EX The boy you settled on is kind and smart and pretty funny, really and he bears a significant resemblance to an earlier suitor whose name just so happens to rhyme with Wii. I’m not suggesting that there’s … Continue reading →

RHYMES WITH GILLIAM In the cemetery at the gravesite of a family that will remain nameless (but rhymes with “kill, son”), there is the headstone of a wife that said among other things in quotes the following: “I will never … Continue reading →

PRECIOUS MOMENTS I don’t want to disturb you but I would like to take some time to say just how fond I am of you and wish that I could know you better than the constructs between us allow. I … Continue reading →