Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

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About Jonathan Berger

I used to write quite a bit more.

Haiku

Posted on May 15, 2011 - 1:30 pm by Jonathan Berger

HAIKU Inconceivable as it may seem, you are still inconsequential.

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Sabbathical

Posted on May 1, 2011 - 9:44 pm by Jonathan Berger

SABBATHICAL This, after a week’s labor, is a day of rest where I can consider all that has occurred and plan next steps. Reflection and recollection are the order of the day as I assess the then and consider the … Continue reading →

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101

Posted on April 30, 2011 - 11:44 pm by Jonathan Berger

101 The band was good, but not as good as the competition. In April, they played with the new kids in town, letting those rotten Johnny-come-Latelies open for them and the singer saw the future of rock’s rule like looking … Continue reading →

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Say Goodbye to Hollywood

Posted on April 29, 2011 - 11:57 pm by Jonathan Berger

SAY GOODBYE TO HOLLYWOOD When they syndicated Bosom Buddies, one of the finest shitty sitcoms in the seventies-eighties, they presented it with a brand new theme song that had actually been the original. Though they perhaps thought they had got … Continue reading →

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Clubbing

Posted on April 29, 2011 - 9:51 pm by Jonathan Berger

CLUBBING The girl to his left has amazing cleavage but he’s with the girl to his right so he coughs, bends over and ogles as well as he can. His girl knows what he’s doing though, and glares while he … Continue reading →

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Not Smart

Posted on April 28, 2011 - 11:35 am by Jonathan Berger

NOT SMART This day has long been coming and should have anticipated in the months, weeks, days that preceded it. Now, the toll has been taken, the die been cast. I have outgrown my smart car. Between the rodizios the … Continue reading →

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An H Where it Doesn’t Belong

Posted on April 27, 2011 - 11:16 pm by Jonathan Berger

Dear Bobby, I was shamed into reading your last book because your latest has just come out. It has rested on my desk since you signed it for me on the last book tour three years ago. You wrote: “Good … Continue reading →

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All Apologies # 09

Posted on April 26, 2011 - 8:33 pm by Jonathan Berger

ALL APOLOGIES IX Apologies to Jeannie: I didn’t know better – really. I had no better way to get your attention and still don’t. I was so scared, so ashamed of my body but amazed by yours that all I … Continue reading →

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Bearing Witness

Posted on April 26, 2011 - 8:11 pm by Jonathan Berger

BEARING WITNESS I swore the next time I saw you I would say hello introduce myself not stare at your chest and ask to get to know you better I have spent too long living in the shadow of satisfaction … Continue reading →

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Sundays

Posted on April 26, 2011 - 8:01 pm by Jonathan Berger

SUNDAYS You remember Sundays? At the old apartment? You’d be reading the Times or working on a paper wearing one of my ratty t-shirts with a stupid saying like “Got Cream?” or “I’m not prejudiced; I hate everybody.” You would … Continue reading →

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