Category Archives: Uncategorized

Love You Til Friday

It was late in the game when the opportunity unfolded: “You can join our band, our nation-touring record-selling drink-devouring band, after we’ve put in so many years flying our freak flag telling the kids to follow. You want to be … Continue reading

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Answering Machine Message

Sixteen, blueballed,bent all out of shape by a fucking school filled with hundred dollar grooms, folk stars and soldiers of misfortune, I was nothing but a dope smoking moron, white and lazy, treatment bound. I had nothing. I was nothing … Continue reading

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Les Is

LES IS Les is a moron. Not that it’s a bad thing but don’t cheat off of his tests or have him do your taxes or, you know, pick up lunch. Les is a moron. He repeated first grade, but … Continue reading

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Yet Ready

YET READY When next we fuck by which I mean if we fuck again by which I mean if we ever do fuck, you’ll be bent over and I’ll insist that you shout out “I am fucking Jon Berger!” with … Continue reading

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Paul Crawl

PAUL CRAWL Finally at the last in retrospect I realize I just want a pretty wife. Simple needs, really: a pretty wife with an inheritance and no embarrassing sexual history but still, serious experience, y’know? I want a hot wife … Continue reading

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Imagination and Excuses

IMAGINATION AND EXCUSES The boys who promise you the moon are liars – or misleaders, at the least. If they had moons to offer, why not simply wrap and present? It’s because they don’t have no moon stupid – they … Continue reading

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Fiddy

FIDDY Answer me this: How could you? How could you do that to your own flesh, blood, genes and eyes? How could you betray them – leave them – so emotionlessly free from shame? Tell me. Tell me now how … Continue reading

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State Of

STATE OF Wait. Hold on. Do you… do you smell it? Something’s rotten in Denmark – and by Denmark, I mean ‘right fucking here.’ Yeah, I can tell: something stinks around here and I can’t quite identify it, but it’s … Continue reading

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Yo Yo Zero

YO YO ZERO This burger here? It needs a grease job. Just slobber that lovely lubrication all over this baby – don’t be shy. Slather. Spread. This burger needs it. It needs something different from the regular state of affairs. … Continue reading

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Chicken Wings

CHICKEN WINGS Oh, fuck! Look outside. Witness the wonder. Experience the puffy clouds the sunny sun the sheer aching glory of this cock-smashingly gorgeous day. This is not a day for arguments with associate – spirited and cantankerous they may … Continue reading

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