jonberger

I was out of touch.
I was off the grid.
I was on the ground.
I was dropping my father off.

I was on a pilgrimage.
I was visiting Mecca.
I was driving through boroughs
– all of them.
I was revisiting history.
I was leaving my dad.

I was going through mourning.
I was gone all afternoon.
I was out of network
and without reception.
I was putting pops at peace.

I was riding.
I was quiet.
I was picking up pieces
and letting them rest
where they belonged.
I was beginning to end
the ending.
I was abandoning parts
of my patriarch.

I must admit
the song that I played you
that you loved so much
was not one one of mine.
I shouldn’t have let you think otherwise
and I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean
to insult your parents
when I suggested
that those who watched the History Channel
were likely retarded
and I hope
that your mother gets the promotion
to head of Programming.

I want you to understand
that I never intend to do anything
that will upset you
offend you
make you feel worse
about your myriad poor life choices
but
as you can see even in this apology
I am exceedingly good at it.

I’m sorry I shot up your aunt
and that she now has to go through recovery
all over again.

I am sorry
for everything I have done
and will do
and might consider doing
or you dreamed of me doing
and it will never happen again.

All right?
Are we good?

When I agreed to mentor you
I never imagined it would come to us
facing each other
on this hilltop
sharpened claws each
waiting for the other’s attack.

I knew you were getting better
stronger
sharper and stabbier
but I didn’t think
ever
we would reach this point.

Luckily
age and grace
should always overcome
strength and skill.

Oof.
Oops.

You said you loved me.
You said you missed me.
You were lying
for all that I can tell
since I see little evidence of those words
other than the sounds escaping your lips.

I understand, though.
Sometimes a lie is easier
than the uneasy truth
and I’m sure I can see
how the truth would be uneasy
that feelings change and feelings
you hoped you’d have
would prove to be nothing at all
some dandelion wisp
that floated away
after a slight breath.

I realize how
you might not mean to be
but nonetheless became
a fucking liar
who would say the easy lie
rather than stand up
and be honest.

I get it.
I see.
I understand
and I forgive you.
I’m lying.

The good guys
don’t always win.
Sometimes
the good guys are unrecognizable
and the villains are nowhere to be named.

Sometimes the battle
is against nature
and there is nothing to be punched.
Sometimes
evil is not part of the equation.

The bad guys don’t always lose
– or win.
Sometimes they don’t show up.

And sometimes
a beautiful day
is wrecked by an elk
who didn’t know
where she was supposed to stand.

Not all crimes
involve criminals

and the heroes
don’t show up.

Let us not speak of this again.
Let us keep mum
and drive this out of our brains.
Let us drink to forget
and hypnotize to ignore
and do mantras to avoid thinking
about what happened
what was said
and what wasn’t.

Let us remain silent on this
for it is surely for the best.
Let us agree
that the elephant has left the building
and will never be able to fit back in
and
as such
is beyond further consideration.

Let conversations commence
but on other topics.
Let us never speak of this again.

What?

Watch me sleep.
Stroke my brow.
Hold me past shakes
worries and cries.
Keep me safe.
Watch me sleep.

Stroke my hair
where it’s found.
Hold me now.
Warm my soul.
Keep me close.
Stroke my hair.

Keep me warm.
Hear my sighs.
Watch my eyes.
Taste my soul.
Hold me dear.
Keep me warm.

Keep me strong.
Taste my warmth.
Hold my hair.
Hear my cries.
Watch, my dear.

I will tell you three truths
and I will tell you a lie
and it is up to you
to recognize
which is which.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

If you can tell me
when it is a lie
then I think it’s time
to break up.

In the beginning
there was white
an endless expanse
of nothing
– a nothing
that needed to somehow
be filled
with content.

And the creator
said LET THERE BE WORDS
and then slowly
the emptiness
was filled with stories.

And the words of the stories,
they were read
and the readers
found them good
and said LET THERE BE MORE
and the creator
who found companions
wrote more
and in that way
filled the world
with everything it needed.

And the white
has been filled with darkness
ever since
as well as all the shades and nuance
that tales can provide
and it was good
and continues to be
and –
you probably know
how the rest of the story goes.

I was just a normal human boy
until I was bitten
by a radioactive nun
and then I gained all of a nun’s powers.
I became Nun-Man
which isn’t really as neat as you’d expect.

Why couldn’t I have been bitten
by a radioactive blanket?
I could have named myself The Wet Blanket
with the ability to dampen enthusiasm
with a single snark.

Maybe that Science Fair could have included Hostess Products
and I’d have been bitten
by a radioactive Twinkie.
I could be Twinkie the Kid IRL
and squeeze my super sweet filling
all over anyone I wanted to.

If only I was somewhere else
with some other super powers.
Or maybe the radioactivity
could have just killed me.
Oh, the super humanity!