jonberger

When you burned the draft
I wrote about you
and I responded with a new draft
about the bitch who torched my book
before it was committed to file
so you trashed my computer
to which I produced a blog
about the techno-terrorista
who demolished disk drives
for her insane and insidious cause,
what was it you did?

Oh yes: you turned off your computer
so you wouldn’t have to see the mean and cruel words.
You really don’t understand,
do you?

Ideas cannot be stopped
by destroying an expression of the idea.
You might be able to slow things down
but once the bomb’s been thought up
it’s gonna get built.

You will not stop my stories from being written
and you can’t escape the reality
that they’ll be seen.
Ideas will be expressed
– it’s what they do.

So unless you –
Is that a saber you’re holding?
Wait: the server!
We can crash the server…

RESPONSIBILITY

To whom it may concern:
I wish to apologize
for my part
in the accident
of which we were both
so tragically involved.

As I was driving east
on 95th street
I did not notice you
attempting to cross.
I was somewhat distracted,
you see,
by the matters of the day,
the current tax rate,
and the hooker
who was resting in my lap.

My mind was not entirely
on the road
nor the status of the light
nor the legal direction of traffic.

In addition,
you were slightly below my sightline
– was that a low rider wheelchair?
I guess insurance can get you another.

Oh! I should mention,
I don’t have insurance.
I hope that’s OK with you
and that this check for twelve dollars
will help with your recovery.

Do not cash the check
until 2014
in the Post Atomic Era.

Signed,
Anonymous

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED

I could tell you about my vacation home
or my part-time job as a fireman
or how I had the most tragic affairs
with the most tragic of duchesses
but it doesn’t matter,
does it?

The truth of the matter is
you’re gonna like me
no matter what I do.
I got inside you really quick
and you think I’m funny and smart
and kind
and, despite yourself,
you’re already kind of attracted to me.
You probably haven’t parsed it out entirely
but you want to know me better
and, you know what?
I’m gonna let you.

I’m gonna give you the chance
to explore my options.
I’m gonna let you
uncover my secrets,
r ip off my toga
and let your hands start roaming.
I’m going to let you in.

Now
don’t thank me yet.
Just wait
until after you’ve tried me.

IMPOSSIBLY

You may think
you can treat me this way
because you’re all that
and I’m all into it
and you can lead me
anywhere you may want me to go.
It’s not like that.

You’re not as hot as I think you are
so you can’t get away
with this sort of thing
indefinitely.
Eventually,
you’ll look into a Cinderella looking glass
and know the fairest of ’em all
ain’t you
and I’ll be right behind you
and I’ll learn something new
about you.

One of these days,
the scales will lift,
the sunglasses will fall,
and I’ll discover you
in a brand new light.
Today,
I love you impossibly. Today,
I can imagine none sexier, sweeter or smarter.
Today,
I may think the sun rises and sets
only for your pleasure
but who knows what tomorrow may bring?

I don’t.

“You can do it,” she said,
“It can’t be that hard.”
It was hard.
It couldn’t be done.
She didn’t believe that.
She believed in me.

“Just get to it,” she said,
“You can do it.”
It wasn’t that simple.
I couldn’t do it.
She didn’t understand.
She didn’t see through my piss-stained glasses.
She saw a me I didn’t see.
She believed in me.

“It’s gonna happen,” she smiled,
“You can make it so.
“I believe in you,” she said.
“Don’t,” I replied,
“There’s nuance to this,
an explanation for its impossibility.
I cannot make it so.
I cannot make a broke car go.
Understand: I’m saying ‘No.'”

She didn’t believe me.
She believed in me
Until
I finally convinced her otherwise.