Monthly Archives: April 2017

I think I need a brain wash, a chance to clear my head, to get clean and think free. I need some kind of mental enema to fix whatever’s been going wrong and set me on a better path. I’ve … Continue reading →

Ouch. Fucking ouch! I am not good with needles. Sorry. I mean to say “I am not good with you sticking those things into my arm so insensitively and frequently.” When I started giving blood, my veins were perfect and … Continue reading →

Forgive me for not sweeping up the cups you broke when you stumbled in quiet as a moose well past midnight. I left it for you to deal with today. While you clean let us speak about what happened last … Continue reading →

His room-mates found him probably days after. He was in his room but they were used to him being MIA for longer than that. It was the smell that finally tipped them off. The funeral was well attended. He had … Continue reading →

I’m so glad to hear that you’re not dying but I will not lend you any more of my donuts because at some time in the future you MAY be dying and I cannot take the risk that my donut … Continue reading →

Thanks a lot, Jerry. I was sitting here minding my own business thinking about the world and its state and how it’s a shame that everyone can’t just get along and I was thinking about the animals and the plants … Continue reading →

Thank you but I think I shall abstain. I am trying to cut down. I am seeking some sort of relief. I am hoping to be a better man. I appreciate the offer but I want to get clean. I … Continue reading →

I hope you’re all right. I know you’ve got a head on your shoulders and you generally do what is best but I worry sometimes that you’re not as secure as I wish you were. This happens to everyone. You’ll … Continue reading →

I’m pretty sure you still want me despite what you may think like you swear you’re gonna stay dry but you yearn for that last drink. Come on: light me, ignite me then party all night, we two can do … Continue reading →

Results of our latest campaign show a three hundred percent increase I’m Unnecessary Sales the largest component on our ongoing successful initiative. So get happy!!! We’re going great. Our profits will rise until Quarter Eight. Investors’ returns are simply first … Continue reading →