Look you know I love you
and I’ve got your back
and you can have me in the divorce
or whatever but,
all that in mind,
you could have been less of a dick.
I mean,
I can see her side
and if she takes you
for everything you’ve got,
well, you kind of deserve it
for being such an asshole.

You sniped at everything she had to say.
You acted like
if you left any statement of hers uncorrected
the sun could melt
and you fought tooth and nail
on every possible front
with Churchill ferocity.
You had a choice between being right
and happy
and, well, I just hope
you’re happy now.

I know you thought
she was out of your league
but what made you think
you could fix that
by constantly sleeping around?
Did any of the many others
ever satisfy like she did?
Was it worth it
in the short run,
let alone the long?

Again, it doesn’t matter what you did:
I’m with you.
I’m for you forever
but you were wrong.
She improved you
and losing her
is the worst thing that’s happened to you
since Mrs. Forgatti’s ninth grade Spanish final.
You boned it
but we’ll get through it, I’m sure,
eventually.