It’s not as bad as you think because
it’s never as bad as you think because
you’re over-worried about community standards because
you exaggerate the significance of others’ opinions because
you assume they’re considering you more than they are because
you assume they’re considering you at all.
Human persons are a sub species and cowardly lot.
They’re in their own particular circle of hell
with their own myopic view of it
and are unlikely to witness the suffering of the neighbors
in the torture chamber next to them.
That’s how human persons are:
it’s their curse
but your blessing
in this particular situation
because as bad as think as it was
– and it was bad (Real bad.
Why would you make a blanket attack
on pregnant grandmothers like that?)
it wasn’t that bad, because
the only people who were paying attention
to you in any way
were you and,
in a moment of distraction,
one of the caterers.
I wasn’t even in the room
when you did
whatever you apparently did.
So it wasn’t that bad, I promise.
Or, you know, I assume.