Author Archives: Jonathan Berger

My therapist keeps telling me it’s time to rape a bitch – though not quite with those words. He explains that I need to exude confidence. I must present myself as deserving of others’ affections and assume, under all circumstances, … Continue reading →

My therapist keeps telling me I can’t punch a motherfucker or argue with my boss or fist fight with my mom or teach those young whippersnappers a thing or two when they litter in the park. Over and over again, … Continue reading →

To Sister Louisa Immaculata, the hot nun with whom I volunteered at the pantry last weekend who subsequently rejected all my advances: I am sorry for consequently cursing at you both so frequently and so enthusiastically. I shouldn’t have called … Continue reading →

I can tell, already, this night will disappoint me. My needs will not be met. My hopes will not be realized. I will discover truths about myself or my society and they will be unpleasant. I can see this all … Continue reading →

Well, that happened. I don’t think anyone can deny in any way at all that that happened. Throughout history, there will be dozens that recall this day and consider the events around the occurrence and speak of it. Some may … Continue reading →

The words have worn off the cross by the roadside. The flowers, withered, have blown away. The pictures faded, cracked. Even the graffiti on the nearby overpass is barely legible. So much time has passed since the event. There is … Continue reading →

If you talk to me I might listen. I may be able to help if you ask. I am here. I am available. I got nothing going on and I could be there as you need but I need your … Continue reading →

I hope you’re happy now. I hope regarding what you’ve done you feel perfectly pleased. I hope you’re prepared for any repercussions but that none occur and you can go on without any ill will or shame or sacrifice after … Continue reading →

You knew what you were getting into with me. You saw what I was as soon as we met. I didn’t hide my identity or keep you out of a secret circle that admitted information that you weren’t privy to. … Continue reading →

The world is made of things with distinct purposes and utilities. Consider location. A car is not suited to be a home in winter, especially if you live with a bull mastiff that farts – regularly. The world is made … Continue reading →