The guys went to karaoke
and we sang until crazy
and then went out drinking
driving with the windows open screaming bloody murder
as we searched for secret streets,
loving the life.
This is what I am without you.
I am better off.
I am giddy.
I have adventures alone
and with parties
you would never let me entertain.
I am joyous.
I am anything but lonely
without you.
Verify my words:
Come to me.
May one day,
all your dreams come true,
and when that happens,
let the coming to school naked thing be first,
because I’m always ready to see your honkers
(I promise
I won’t point
unless that’s an important point
in the dream).
May showers wash you
day after night
until you own a deep tub
that allows you to luxuriate
to your heart’s content
(keep in mind my honker comments above,
as they apply here as well).
May flowers be strewn before you
as well as behind you
and may some occasionally flutter daintily to your cleavage
landing in that heavenly crevice
where I can offer to retrieve them
giving me further opportunity
with your honkers.
May honkers
in fact
be involved in every conversation we ever have
and also be constantly at attention
and on display.
I’m beginning to realize
just how frightened of you I am.
I don’t know what it is
for sure
that terrifies me.
I have no clue, really,
how you’ve dug so deeply into my nightmares
and occupy so much attention in my psyche
after so blessed little time.
You’re not that threatening
physically
but I seem to go sweaty and exceedingly palpitational
in your presence.
Does it resemble lust?
Yeah…
but there’s definite irrational fear
when I’m in your presence.
An anxiety that you could do me
grievous harm.
You’re so adorable,
so small,
yet you hold such sway over my psyche
it’d be pretty funny
if I wasn’t so damned scared.
Please don’t hurt me.
I don’t want to get hurt.
I want you to hold me, but
I’m afraid that you won’t
and possibly
much more afraid that you will.
Boy, look up at me.
Stand and leave your toys.
It is time for a lesson.
It is time to learn the cost of things.
You have been living
off of my teat for far too long
wearing the short pants
that I have paid for.
Today is the day
you discover what it is all worth.
Today you will prepare
to earn your keep.
Look: that man washing the window.
He gets paid a dollar for his effort.
That tight skirted young woman?
She may earn twenty
possibly one hundred dollars.
I’ll verify later.
A hot dog is two dollars
and Doctor Charles Mayo said
close to a hundred years ago
that the elements of a human body
can be bought for eighty four cents.
A modern article puts that amount
at four fifty.
Inflation.
If you sell your semen and blood
you may make a bit more
on the regular.
Consider yourself a cow to be milked
and you may be able to pay for yourself
much sooner, boy
as that is a thing
you will have to work on
sometime soon.
I hope you have learned
a bit today, son,
because I do not know
if I will have time
for another lesson
before you must begin repaying the debt
that you owe me
for your life.
It’s over.
The shop’s closed.
There’s nothing more to see
nothing at all to get here.
Whatever you hoped to take out from here
it’s gone,
bought or stolen already.
It’s done.
The doors locked
the windows shuttered
the experience completed.
Sorry.
Come again, though,
it may well be possible
that we’re going out of business
so: sales.
Try again tomorrow.
It was late
and dark but
they were not ready
for the evening to end.
Taking their hands off each other
they two lifted themselves
into the closed park
running and laughing their way
into the interior.
They found a place
under no lamplight
where they lay
and talked
and kissed.
Hands clasped
tongues tangled
touching
and wrestling,
they were not ready
for the evening to end.
All alone
surrounded by nature,
surrounded by the city,
they shared stories,
laughing at their own histories
that had hurt so much
earlier.
They spoke
of the future history
they were prepared to share.
They treasured each other.
This was the thing.
This is what they sought.
This was their untenable dream.
This is what they always wanted
and they
were not ready
for the evening to end.
Oh, God, you beautiful mess.
Looking at you is always an adventure.
You’re gorgeous and funny
and flawed.
I want to save you.
I want to fix you.
I think I can make you
more than you are
Svengali you into an amazing individual.
An amazinger individual.
I believe I can do it.
I can improve you
make you everything
I hope you can be.
If I fixed you
you would love me forever.
If I fixed you
you would never leave me.
If I fixed you
and created the ultimate iteration of you
just imagine what would happen!
Soon
you won’t have to
because I’ll have transformed you.
You’re welcome.
I don’t know what I expected.
It always goes this way.
I had a really good time.
It started out so comfortable.
We got along great;
you were gorgeous
and I was less hideous than normal.
We seemed to like each other’s tales
which added breeze behind my sails
and so the night we shared became extended.
Everything seemed pretty right
but afterwards
While fondly recalling the events
something went wrong.
I got nervous. I got anxious.
You grew in my esteem
and it became harder to imagine
being able to impress you again.
I’m sure you saw it
in our next interactions
where I was awkward and frightened
and freaky and strange.
I’ve become a stumblebum
simply tripping over tongue
every single time that you come near me.
So clearly
you have no reason to come close to me
since all I’ll do is sweat and splutter
out some ridiculousness or other.
I don’t get how
originally, it was all organic
but after a minute to think
I’ve become an idiot.
You are a knower of things:
what is wrong with me?
Offer me solutions, please
to let my nervousness release
and leave me set to speak with you again.
Today is Hitler’s deathday
just ten days after his birthday.
Even seventy two years gone
Adolf’s shadow is exceedingly long.
The former Fuhrer
remains a popular topic of debate
and every public figure seemingly identified
with the powerful German leader.
Wherever a politician may be on the spectrum
her enemies will call her a Nazi
or he another Adolf.
This is thanks to Hitler.
His name is used
more than most
– more than mine, certainly –
and I am known to be delicious.
Clearly
even after all this time
there is something about this commander
that remains important
to be remembered.
Nah, it’s nothing.
It’s just that, well,
the candy bar
I got you,
it was like four dollars.
Things in this theater ain’t cheap.
Your "thank you" was nice and all
but I was hoping
for some more concrete appreciation
a quid pro quo
some sweetness for the sweets.
Some sweet relief.
You’re getting what I’m saying
right?
I’d like
if you’re amenable
to four dollars of trade
in return.
Wink trade.
Dirty trade.
Also
not for nothing
but I lent you a couple of bucks
for the ticket to the show
which makes the tally, like,
seven dollars.
So,
whenever you’re ready
if you’re willing to provide me
seven dollars of erotic gratification,
I’d be thankful
– very much so.
Well, yeah;
you did pay for the cab
and lunch
and you helped me out
last time my salary didn’t come through,
so… what?
I owe you five hundred?
Fine.
You can take it out
in sexy trade with me.
Where do I start?
jonberger 