Monthly Archives: April 2017

The two guys chasing the one guy down the avenue don’t seem to be trying very hard. They tire halfway down the block and let him make his getaway. Whatever it is the one guy took wasn’t visible and couldn’t … Continue reading →

Your mom seems to like me which, I guess, makes one of you. I’m not so sure why I’ve impressed her so much more than you. Maybe you know me better. Maybe my first impression beats out my eighth or … Continue reading →

I’ve seen you from a distance and I’ve seen you closer up and I can say with great assurance on your nectar I would sup. I’d love to take some time with you but unfriendly are the fates. You’ve made … Continue reading →

Oh my god. Looking at you three it is impossible to tell which of you’s the hot one and which of you’s the dog. There’s always one, right? It’s impossible for all the ladies in your posse to be equally … Continue reading →

I just had to reject an idol of mine. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t pretty. I had to get on the horn and say “Bruce, I’m sorry but I just can’t do it.” He wasn’t pleased of course but I … Continue reading →

I bought the book that we talked about that time about the thing – what was it about? We were talking about it at the bar that time when we were drinking? You remember. You don’t? I was hoping you … Continue reading →

Oh. Oh, dear. I think my stomach is trying to tell me something and that something is “Stop. Quit. Desist. The things you’re doing are doing you harm – but not as much as I can wreak if you don’t … Continue reading →

Well, that film was shocking. It renewed my faith in humanity. Sorry – my lack of faith. It validated most of my worst assumptions about the human condition. I’d say the director was a misanthrope but it was written by … Continue reading →

If you liked me this would all have gone much differently. You’d have jumped at the chance to see my apartment and then jumped at the chance to clean it. You’d have returned my calls the week in which I’d … Continue reading →

I’m an ugly little man with an ugly little head filled with ugly little dreams that I’ve had since I was dead but upon seeing your legs in that skirt you barely wear I’ve been visited by beauty and I’ve … Continue reading →