Category Archives: Uncategorized

Because Great Aunt Gertrude (on my father’s side) has finally expressed interest in my art I have given her the link to my website (you know the one: jonberger dot com "available for all your poetical needs"?). So now I … Continue reading →

They refuse to share even when a solution to satisfy both is so purely clear. If he hands her the device before entering After School then she can get her alotted screen time at a point when the noise won’t … Continue reading →

When you wrote that this was my final notice I was giddy with relief. At last you would be done with your asinine memos to my account claiming to offer me a service that I requested, but come on, really? … Continue reading →

He tried to teach me the culture but I was never much of a student (unless I cared for the subject) so he found subjects within the culture that I might care about. There was a book of humorous stories … Continue reading →

Why do you approach so tentatively, crouched in pose, eyes lowered? I get that you’re nervous around me. I don’t blame you: If I were you, I’d be nervous around me, too. But I’m not really THAT big a deal. … Continue reading →

The two guys chasing the one guy down the avenue don’t seem to be trying very hard. They tire halfway down the block and let him make his getaway. Whatever it is the one guy took wasn’t visible and couldn’t … Continue reading →

Your mom seems to like me which, I guess, makes one of you. I’m not so sure why I’ve impressed her so much more than you. Maybe you know me better. Maybe my first impression beats out my eighth or … Continue reading →

I’ve seen you from a distance and I’ve seen you closer up and I can say with great assurance on your nectar I would sup. I’d love to take some time with you but unfriendly are the fates. You’ve made … Continue reading →

Oh my god. Looking at you three it is impossible to tell which of you’s the hot one and which of you’s the dog. There’s always one, right? It’s impossible for all the ladies in your posse to be equally … Continue reading →

I just had to reject an idol of mine. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t pretty. I had to get on the horn and say “Bruce, I’m sorry but I just can’t do it.” He wasn’t pleased of course but I … Continue reading →